Content Note: Read with care. This writing carries both the weight of trauma and the light of being held safe.

I.
Stress—the edges of my skin.
Blur, then coming back into focus.
Your voice pulls me gently down to earth.

My hands, Your hands over me—
currents between us.
Energy moves, a tide.
Our connection built from bone and heat,
a tether of blood
coursing in patterns that hush and excite.

I am vulnerable.
I never wanted to be taken to a place like this—
hell.
You know.
You hold me from running
while we both watch the violence of my fear
look for purchase,
try to shred, to rupture,
to replace hope with shadows
that lie while keeping truths safe.

II.
I went too far
where words couldn’t breathe.
Behind my eyes
the dark threatens to break me.
Only You are allowed to.
Only You can.
I consent.

I fall back into trust
when I can’t think—
guided from inner realm to present,
brought safely into rest.
Learning what it is
to be truly cared for,
not left to spiral,
not forced to climb alone from down,
not punished for falling—
in love, in devotion,
in worship, in trust, in lust,
in spirals, drowning,
begging for help.

Attention once held out of reach—
as if I needed it that way,
abandonment as a practice.

III.
I untense.
I see Your eyes watching mine closely.
You don’t leave.

I lift the weight from my chest
from a past lover
who sought to shatter me
as a point of my submission to him.

There is no room for him here anymore.
You know how to take up my spaces,
carefully pushing all else out.

© 2025 Bat / Moonlight Spiritus. All Rights Reserved.

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End Note: There is a difference between being conditioned to accept abuse and harm, and consenting to power exchange. One strips away the self; the other honors trust, choice, care, and respect. Move with clarity into what you consent to, for it shapes the heart as much as the body.